Please Join Me In This Tribute To My Dog

The sun has no business shining when I am in agony after my world turned upside down last night.

How can just a few minutes change everything?

It's hard enough losing a beloved animal family member when they are old, sick or there is reason to anticipate death.

It is unfathomably unbearable when the death is sudden, unexpected and I am left powerless to change the outcome, but with ample intellect to question everything preceding his dying moment.

This written release is a tribute to Gustav and for myself to bring some type of finality or closure to my wounds. The crying is uncontrollable and pushed me into hyperventilation last night. My heart was literally ripped from it's base, I've lost my footing, my friend and am just barely hanging on with too many tears pouring down my face.

Gustav pictured above at 4 months, shortly after he was vaccinated for Parvo, he developed parvo and spent several months with an Idaho vet. Since I didn't know him before, I don't know if it was the vaccine heavy metals that damaged him neurologically or if he was that way to begin with. He was labeled dangerous and so came to us after his parvo recovery.  It was months before the painful intensity of eating diminished, he ate mostly scrambled eggs with goat milk until he healed.

Shortly afterward he developed severe spinal conditions, his back was always arched much like a camel, he could only walk on his tip toes and he would have small rear end seizures. 

Months of herbal blends, detoxing, spinal massages and therapeutic mushrooms brought him a straight top line and he developed into a super athlete. 

The small seizures virtually eliminated. 

Bursting with energy and life he crammed 20 years of living into the 7.5 years spent on earth.

He was too rough for the public, too much uncontrolled energy, life was a game, your feet were a game, other dogs were fun too. Not a mean bone in his powerful body, but someone could easily come in contact with his huge smiling face, paws or his unusual, gruff play style that we modified but couldn't eliminate. Once he relaxed at night, he was a huge, affectionate licking marshmallow. A kind gentle creature who joined our indoor permanent crew.

That was just Gustav's 2 speeds, hyper turbo overdrive or melt onto you and the couch, aka Goo Goo, Gooey, Good Stuff or The Gustinator

He was my favorite dog of all times.

 

His days were fun filled outside in the pasture, next to his best friend Paco, the Peruvian Paso Stallion. They were physical matched friends, running the fence lines, rolling or just hanging out with each other on opposite sides of the fence.

Goo also had 3 permanent deer friends, and up to 7 who would share his pasture. He would observe them and only boof and bounce if they violated his 25' limit.

 

This morning they were not in his pasture for the first time in years, they knew he was gone.

Just before it was time for Gooey to come in last night he started barking as though he was playing with Paco, it was an unusual time so after looking out the window and not seeing him, we raced out just as he launched himself into his Igloo after warning the Raccoon to leave the area and his food.

The fight only lasted a few minutes before we could get Goo out. He's had similar encounters a few times, but not in a couple of years, the raccoons had stayed clear and he always would encourage them to leave.

As usual no bites, no scratches, not even limping, just winded. I walked him until he cooled down and brought him in for dinner of raw bison, Coconut oil, herbs & veggies. He flopped down onto the floor, had some water and was still pretty winded/panting. I thoroughly checked him and found no injuries, tender areas or blood. He'd often run raccoons  up a tree and circle the tree for hours. There was nothing unusual about him or his behavior last night.

He had a couple of cookies and was resting a bit before starting his dinner. 

We went upstairs to eat our dinner, I heard him get up, lap a bit more water and plop back down. After about 10 minutes I didn't hear him go to the couch which was his normal routine, laying in front of the fireplace and thoroughly enjoying the moment. I went down to see if there was anything I could do and found him dead on the kitchen floor where he always laid.

My world stopped.  Our 4 other dogs in the house and both of us, yet none of us heard a sound. He just silently died sometime within those 10 minutes when we went upstairs. There was no re-wind, I couldn't turn back the hands of time or change anything.  Helpless.

Unbelievable, unthinkable, unbearable that I'll never, on this earth, again touch his smiling face, or give his spinal massage, or watch him with his deer, or with his stallion.

Lord Byron's Epitaph To A Dog

Near this Spot
are deposited the Remains of one
who possessed Beauty without Vanity,
Strength without Insolence,
Courage without Ferocity,
and all the virtues of Man without his Vices.

This praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery
if inscribed over human Ashes,
is but a just tribute to the Memory of
BOATSWAIN, a DOG,
who was born in Newfoundland May 1803
and died at Newstead Nov. 18, 1808.

When some proud Son of Man returns to Earth,
Unknown by Glory, but upheld by Birth,
The sculptor’s art exhausts the pomp of woe,
And storied urns record who rests below.When all is done, upon the Tomb is seen,
Not what he was, but what he should have been.

But the poor Dog, in life the firmest friend,
The first to welcome, foremost to defend,
Whose honest heart is still his Master’s own,
Who labours, fights, lives, breathes for him alone,
Unhonoured falls, unnoticed all his worth,
Denied in heaven the Soul he held on earth –
While man, vain insect! hopes to be forgiven,
And claims himself a sole exclusive heaven.

Oh man! thou feeble tenant of an hour,
Debased by slavery, or corrupt by power –
Who knows thee well must quit thee with disgust,
Degraded mass of animated dust!

Thy love is lust, thy friendship all a cheat,
Thy tongue hypocrisy, thy words deceit!

By nature vile, ennobled but by name,
Each kindred brute might bid thee blush for shame.
Ye, who perchance behold this simple urn,
Pass on – it honors none you wish to mourn.
To mark a friend’s remains these stones arise;
I never knew but one – and here he lies.